Not sweet, just sticky

So Madonna stopped being culturally relevant some time around the Iran-Contra hearings.

But I noticed a couple of days ago that she may be headed to the DR for the first time ever. If she gets there, let's hope she doesn't do a repeat of her turn in a 1993 concert in San Juan, where she used the Boricua flag as a chocha wipe. Not that I'm a fan of nation-state symbols, but that was just gross.

And then there's her faux-shocking move of equating McCain to Hitler and Kim Jong Il. Paris did it better, to be honest. You can juice up the paddles all you want, Madge, but that carcass just ain't coming back to life.

Seems she's handling this tour the way a 70s rock dinosaur or metal band would: hit all the secondary and tertiary markets where there are fans still keeping an unironic flame alive.

But Madge's put-on decadence doesn't come across as aspirational to everyone. For example, Montenegro customs officials seized the singer's 300 designer towels at the border. According to London's Sun:

The customs people had never come across that kind of volume of towels for personal use before, or the cost given for them. People in Montenegro just aren't used to spending that much on a towel.

For a reminder of why Madonna ever mattered at all, here is the video for "Into the Groove" with scenes from "Desperately Seeking Susan" and the Sonic Youth cover, under their Ciccone Youth alias, "Into the Groovey," back from the first go-around of when it was OK for rock experimenters to play with dance pop.

Comments

[Kiko Jones]

While I will readily admit to liking barely a handful of her singles, let me just say --now that pitbulls and lipstick are all the rage--that dog will no longer hunt.

And if she tries that nonsense she pulled in San Juan over in the Dominican, I will pity the fool.

(Hey, what do you want from me? It's an '80s thing. Ha!)